Rock Bottom

After all, money is the root of all evil.

"Enabling" is the word most used among friends and family of a drug addict. In order to help a drug addict to stop taking drugs and turn his life over, family and friends are advised not to be an enabler. Stop providing to let the addict hits rock bottom with the hope that difficulties will make him stop destroying himself. And money, is one way of enabling.

What happen when you stop giving money?

Matthew Hussey said break up is painful. The body and brain works like an addict out of drugs. We cannot sleep or eat. We cannot function and fall into depression. I believe it works the other way round too, it's how an addict feels in withdrawal - the pain, the depression, the fatigue.

Without money, it is true that an addict will not be able to purchase any drugs. Do you think he will lock himself out until he recovers? Do you think it will come to his mind that this is the end of the road and he needs to get up being normal the next day?

Drug addicts will use any endeavour to get the next fix. They will steal, rob, snatch. And girls - they spread their legs just to get the next high.

What is the lowest point of life anyway?

When I was admitted to the psychiatric ward about 10 years ago, I could not believe I was there, surrounded by mentally ill women - and I was one of them. It made me think of who I was before I ended up on the bed without curtain, and bathroom without a lock. It made me realized being there puts me in the lowest level of society, where people did not take me seriously. Even if I was to commit a crime.

That was the lowest point of my life. I could not living a life in which I was not significant to anyone. And I do not think it is the same to everyone. Homeless could be the lowest point to you, while being a hooker could be the lowest point to her.

What is the lowest point of life for a drug addict?

Once I read, a lady gave up her addiction because she missed her children. The pain of not having her children especially on Christmas was something she could not endured longer. That was her rock bottom.

Sometimes it is not money. Some people can live on the streets. Some people can live by stealing.

Watching your loved one killing himself slowly by inhaling or injecting drugs is indescribable. You feel pain, sadness and frustration. You keep asking yourself, what else can I do?

Like Ben's mother, I rather having my boyfriend in my home than letting him staying with his friends. I rather give him money than thinking of him stealing or selling drugs. I rather be an enabler - but I was not able to do that. I took all the pain watching him sleeping in different houses every night. I made him sleep in my car whenever I had the chance. I gave him money only when I could not say no to him. I wish I could do more than that. I wish we could be married so that I can keep an eye on him every day, every hour at home.

Ben reminds me of my boyfriend. Both were sick of addiction, but hardly had enough strength to go through the "break up". They did not missed the high, they just could not take the pain of withdrawal. And we are not talking about physical withdrawal - it was the mental withdrawal the hardest to kick.

Here, is the video of Ben:

I wish I had the strength to watch it for the second time.